Coming up...!

We've got SO many fab things bubbling away, we thought you'd want to see it all in one place ... and maybe, you know... buy tickets! 

Curtain Raiser - Wednesday 14 February 

Screw You St Valentine!

Valentine’s Day. Ugh. A load of commercial tat and smug, sickly loved up idiots, duped into spending a fortune on crappy dinners and wilted roses, right?!! Yeah, we might be all alone, but we’re not bitter. Nope. Not even a little bit…

Beeeecauuuuse we are bringing you the perfect ANTI-VALENTINE NIGHT! With a host of comedians ready to ridicule relationships and shun modern romance. Even if you’re coupled-up, you’re guaranteed a load of laughs as we stick two fingers up to lurrve.

Single? For you sexy beasts,

we’ve got an extra twist:


Bring at least one other single friend and let’s get some lonesome hearts mingling!


We could turn this Valentine’s Day into the start of something wonderful - you never know, Cupid could be lurking in a dim corner of the LP…!


And once the comedy is done we’ll have a little dancing on the roof terrace so you can get to know that special someone you spotted at the next table…

Lovely Line Up


Claire Parry kicks us off, with her incisive observations on relationships. 


Elf Lyons has a very original, edgy and action packed set for you. 

Single, married, poly, celibate; there’s something for everyone! 

You can get this along with other beautiful and novelty offensive cross-stich courtesy of 'Stitched'.


Make sure you RSVP! 


Doors Open 7:30

Aannnd Samantha Baines returns to The Curtain from her second sell out Edinburgh Fringe run, to be our MC and bring us some geeky, hilarious fun and a few cheeky love poems.